Suburban Nightmare 2004, The Dark Hours 2005, Taboo 2002

Note: For movies I like, I now have a category called "Recomend Movies". Any movies not tagged that, are crappy IMH(humble)O. I love Netflix and the amount of movies you can see in a month for little money. Many times these movies are crap. And pretty much, if you can play those movies on your computer, instead of waiting to receive them in the mail, I am learning the craptistics of that being true go up significantly.

These aren't gems, but I do occasionally find gems that make it all worth it, and have learned to pull movies (unless they are providing background noise) out of the DVD if they are truly not worthy.

Here is my crap list for this week. Also, remember the crappier the less I remember about the plot. These aren't real horrid crap, and if things had been done at all a little bit creatively, we might have had something here. They ranged from good but you gave the twist away right at the beginning, sort of interesting but all themes have been done to death and you didn't do any of them very well, and well typical.

Suburban Nightmare: Even darker Mr and Mrs Smith. They are serial killers however, but their marriage is on the rocks. Interesting concept, but in the end same old same old. You got your cannibalism, hostage in the basement, screaming, and various tools of the trade. Could have easily lived with out it.

The Dark Hours pretty much gave it's twist away in the beginning. Unless you aren't terribly observant, you are going to get what is going on right away. Ending reminded me of "Wild Things" except you are thinking "no duh".

Taboo: Think Dangerous Liasons or the related Cruel Intentions. Except this has all been done to death, and this movie is horribly done. Boring, first of all. I wanted them all to die.

The Garden 2006, House of Voices or Saint Ange 2004, Fangoria Blood Drive 2004, Inheritance 2004,

Okay, I go through a lot of dogs to find the good horror movies. Or I am just so jaded by the number of horror movies that I have seen, that I am just jaded in my opinions. Here is a listing of movies that I have seen that I have found not worth my while....

The Garden (2006)-Biblical references and little boys battling "evil" just don't do it for me. It seemed more like a bible lesson trying to mask itself as a horror movie. I didn't like it.

House of Voices or Saint Ange (2004)-Orphanage movie. Largely uninteresting, no real plot rather than trying to have some creepy images that ultimately went nowhere. Or I assume so, I fell asleep and had no interest in continueing to view the movie.

Fangoria Blood Drive (2004)-Had high hopes for this one as they are independent collection of horror fan movies. It fell flat, and I couldn't even tell you one story on there.

Inheritance (2004)-Wow snoozer. Again, I can't even recall what the plot might have been, other than I was bored to tears.

****The great thing is that through Netflix, I have seventeen hours of movies that I can watch online. The downside is the normally aren't the best Netflix has to offer, but just as occaisionally you come accross something, or can at least cross something off that WAS of interest before you saw it without messing up the que of movies coming to you.

Disturbia 2007

Disturbia is basically a teen Disney movie of the remake of the classic, Rear Window. I was looking forward to it, but it just did not live up (not even close) to Hitchcock's Rear Window. Not the same dread or suspense at all.

Too bad, a modern take on this might have been interesting, if it worked in any way.

Cemetery Gates 2006, Second Nature 2003, Curdled 1996

Cemetery Gates-Not surprisingly, the Tasmanian Devil let loose in the cemetery was a horribly done movie. The signature "college co-eds" were in it, which always raises a flag of doubt. Course it COULD have been the find of the year as well. Horrible costume, bad acting, bad script, low budget, gratuitous blood shed....do I need to go on? Just the slightest hint of a plot, but not enough to reel one in at all.

Second Nature-Perhaps if this was my first "secret agent" or "experiment" movie ever it would have been good. It was pretty predictable, lame romantic interest....some good action scenes though. If you found this on TV and were bored for something to watch, it's not horrible. It's doable, but pretty predictable.

Curdled-By far the most original concept in the group. Woman fascinated by death quits her job as a baker in a bakery, and goes to work for a "unique" maid service company. They specialize in cleaning up really gory crime scenes once the police are done. Quirky, interesting, and I liked it. It didn't blow me away, and the ending was pretty predictable to me (but then again I have seen like a billion of these things) but it was an interesting and sort of humorous concept. I like original and quirky and this fit the bill.

Uninvited Guest 1999

Horrible movie that I watched awhile ago, but forgot to write about. First of all, I am so confused who they were marketing this movie to. The wife was a loose slut, and the guy was a money grubbing whore who set up his wife.

The acting horrible, the plot been done before and better.....husband sets up wife to get her killed for his book or movie project. Backstabs his best friend et et. Oh, sorry, did I ruin the ending for you. Don't get this movie, I am telling you. Horrible, awful, bizarre in that it seems to offend every group that it could have marketed itself too. Unless, maybe it was a comedy? I don't think so though.

Hannibal Rising 2007, Mark of the Devil 1970, Tourist Trap 1979

Hannibal Rising was not a favorite (apparently) of many of the fans of this series. I, however, loved it. I also liked the original ending of the book that followed Silence of the Lambs, and not the filmed ending that everyone objected to being in the movie (hogwash). Harris as an author has an incredible imagination that I love. I love the way he twists things in the same story with a different perspective.

I loved the book, AND I LOVED the movie. There were some truly frightening moments there, and I was glad we didn't go some places it seemed we were going. I also loved seeing my Rome guy, Verenus (?) playing a bad guy. Really brilliant, I thought.

Tourist Trap--Typical in some ways, but this 70s movie preceded it's followers, so I gotta think this is one that is being copied from. The wax theme was done before of course with Vincent Price, but this has a couple different spins on it. Not my favorite movie, but in the interest of seeing a minor classic that has something to do with major themes, I did enjoy it. Again not the best piece of work (and certainly not acting) that I have ever seen.

Mark of The Devil--Note to self, do not take horror movie suggestions from the husband. First of all, I have seen parts of this (really really bad) movie before. This is a sixties movie and a classic cult movie among some. I, personally, can't get past the bad western, sixties, or Gypsy music that is many time inappropriate and distracting during the whole movie. It's all about torture and witch trials in the 1700 or 1600 hundreds (perhaps even earlier), so you can see my objection to the cheesy western cowboy music being used. Boob shots, pretty girls, a couple of sex scenes that were probably shocking at the time, rapes, knives used on females.....yawn. Really really bad acting by pretty girls, and handsome men with nice eyes and other attributes (that are probably 90 years old now).

Have to say, am again sad to have seen it again, but forced myself to see it all the way through, so I would never need to wonder if it's redeeming at all again. Oh yes, well lit sets where actors use candles as that is the period, but of course castles would actually be lacking light, and so candles would have been NEEDED instead of STAGE SETTING for a horrid movie.

It does look somewhat intriguing at parts, but trust me, just walk away. Ick.

Torture Garden 1969, And Soon The Darkness 1970, There Is Nothing Out There 1991

Like I got three for three that I enjoyed a previous week; this three for three was a huge disappointment.

1991 There is Nothing Out There, had a fair amount of stars on Netflix. This is tricky for me, because some of the classics or weird/kooky ones that I prefer are frequently low on stars. And then sometimes when I go for the high stars, I do find a gem. Not so this time. I tried twice, and could not pay attention to this movie to save my life. Just seemed like a Friday the 13th type of movie, high on teenagers being killed after sexual acts.

And then the Darkness 1970 was the best of the bunch. But a lot of movies have been made before and since then that have the "twist" ending this one does. Also not kookie enough (like Texas Chainsaw) to get my vote for weird and bizarre. In Texas Chainsaw the whole beginning wierd hitchhiker, where nothing even gets started yet, is one of my favorites. It's just such a bizarre and creepy encounter. This film could have had more of that, it was boring in comparison to others.

Torture Garden 1968 bored me. Probably when I was younger I would have appreciated the classicness of this movie. Anyone interested in classic horror (the orginal draculas, frankenstien's, mummies, wax museum with Vincent Price) will most likely enjoy this movie. I found that these bore me a bit now (well maybe not Frankenstein <G>).

Black Christmas Remake

I just watched the orginal Black Christmas. I always get this confused with When A Stranger Calls, which I don't like. I much prefer Black Christmas as a more "thought provoking" horror film <G>. Looks like the remake is going to answer some questions that were not answered in the orginal. It's not out yet, but I am wondering if I will prefer that. In the meantime, some film for you.

Opening scene from the orginal movie.

Trailer from the remake.

Obscene phone call from the orginal.

High Tension-2003

Did no one else get this was a cheap rip off of Intensity? The book and then the made for tv US movie by the way.

And quite a lot less interesting than either. Okay if Intensity had not come out in book format, I might have found this somewhat interesting. But lesbian gone psycho, come on. Really. Yawn.

Read five other reviews, and none mentioned the fact that at least one half , if not two thirds of the movie was a complete rip off of intensity, right up to the point where it it got completely uninteresting.

Don't bother if you've read the book or seen the movie Intensity. Seriously.

Plus if you have seen any movies with "twist" endings, this one is quite predictable.